One more month and the holidays are here.  The holiday stuff is already out in the stores and are you in the spirit or just feeling like Scrooge.  But, if you think about it, many of us harbor Scrooge-like feelings today. We really don't want to participate in yet one more gift exchange. Most people are out of both time and money.

An obligation that is what Christmas shopping has become to most of us. We buy presents because it's expected that we do. How many gifts are you buying because you really want to bless the person receiving it? And how many fall into the "I gotta" category?

Yes, before you say anything, I know that some think only a real Scrooge would take people off of their gift list.  Many of the gifts that you will give this season will actually hurt the person you give them to. Here's how. They really don't need whatever you bought. It's just one more item to take up closet, cabinet or attic space. You've put them one step closer to needing a bigger house (with a bigger mortgage payment). You'll consume their time and money without adding any enjoyment to their lives.

And, you'll diminish your own life, too. Whether you consider this time of year to be an important part of your faith or just a time of goodwill, rushing from store to store will take your mind from the real meaning of the season. You will be focused on things. Not on the relationships that are important to your life. So I'd argue that it's really in the spirit of the season to reduce the number of people on your gift list. In fact, you'd be doing friends a favor by not exchanging gifts. You'd both save the time spent buying and wrapping the gift. If you truly value that person, it's much better to get together for lunch or dinner and catch up on what's happening in your lives. OK, in some cases it's not practical to drop people from your list. So how can you make the best of gift shopping?

Here is what you can do, before you go out to do your gift shopping, consider why you're buying each present. Decide which people on your list are really important. Especially in this economy money may be limited. Spend it wisely, spend on the people who are truly important in your life. Everyone else should be handled without a big fuss. It's not that we don't like the people in our office gift exchange. It's just that six months from now they won't remember what you bought them.

An office party is a great place for a gag gift not a new car. Thrift stores can provide an assortment of items that can be used for funny gifts. Stuffed animals, clothing, coffee mugs and toys are fertile ground for the imagination.

Ok next you will ask about your far away relatives and friends. Unless you're particularly close, you might as well admit that you really don't know what they already have or what they need. So no matter what you get there's a good chance that it will need to be returned. Rather than spending hours in the malls hoping that the perfect item will jump into your arms, why not consider a gift certificate from a national chain of stores.

Or, better still, agree to a dollar amount that you will each spend on your own family. Do your buying after Christmas and send the 'giver' a photo of the gift that 'they bought'. For local friends and relatives, think about where your lives intersect. That's the place to begin looking for a present. If you find that your lives have drifted apart, it's better to spend time catching up instead of shopping.

Then there's those very special people on your list. Your spouse, children and others who you truly want to make happy with a gift. Remember that it's not how much you spend. While it's nice to find a thoughtful gift for that special someone, what they really want is you. The people that are most important in your life want your time and attention. Don't disappoint them by picking something that's expensive but impersonal. 

Finally, please understand that this isn't meant to imply that you shouldn't give to those who need help. Not everyone in our world is blessed with the abundance that so many of us have. And the less fortunate would can use your gift. If you can afford to, please participate in Angel Tree, the Salvation Army kettles or other programs to help those who struggle. If you're really in the holiday spirit you'll feel much better giving that new sweater to a poor child rather than your Aunt Edna. Nor is this meant to imply that you should ignore the holidays. This is a wonderful time of year. My hope is that you'd make the most of your resources and bring happiness to the people who matter in your life.

Bottom line is develop a spending plan, avoid using plastic and use cash when you can. Lend a hand to people in need and communicate your affection to those you love by giving thoughtful gifts not expensive. 

Stuff your stocking without breaking your bank

The holidays can be the best of times spent with family and friends and the worst of overwhelming purchases and expenses. According to Gerri Willis, of CNN/MOney SMart, "while the average consumer expects to spend $702.03 over the holidays, plenty of us will spend more than we can afford." Here are some things to keep in mind ahead of the holidays:

1. You need to make a list and how much you can afford
2. When spending use cash and NOT credit cards
3. You can do your shopping online instead of going into the store.
4. If you do "Secret Santa" make sure you set reasonable limit.
5. If you are a person with a large family you can do a group gift.
6. Try not to be a last minute shopper. It's always best to shop early because you can then shop smart.
7. People always enjoy the gift when you make it.
8. The best time to purchase your wrapping paper, holiday cards and decorations is right after the holidays.
9. If you plan on traveling for the holidays book your airline tickets early.
10. Its always better to start saving in January for the holidays.

Gary Foreman is the editor of The Dollar Stretcher.com website and various enewsletters including Financial Independence. FI is a daily message designed to help people take control of their financial lives through achieving small daily goals. To find out more check out the Financial Independence page.